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When the "Small But" Stops the Big Why

transformation Nov 07, 2020

(Or the Curse of the Maybe)

There’s a curious phenomenon that prevents most of us from achieving our dreams. And I have an excellent laboratory where I study this phenomenon.

That laboratory is my coaching business.

 Clients decide daily whether or not to enroll in my program. 

 If I give them an offer. 

The first decision is mine, and I take it very seriously: should I allow this person to enroll?

You might think of course I will give the person an opportunity to enroll. After all, I get paid at the end of it.

But I do that in less than half the cases.

There’s one of three reasons why I don’t:

  1. Business is good and demand outstrips my ability to serve my clients. 
  2. I don't believe that I can help the person
  3. I don't think that they’ll be fun to work with

The last one is probably the most important reason. 

After all, I am going to spend a LOT of time trying to get them to change their behavior so that they can achieve...

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Most people use Willpower to drive change. Here’s what to do instead.



Most people drive change through pure willpower. In the process they do more harm than good. Rather than doing that, let’s focus on how you might design change into your life.


I use the word “design” consciously. Willpower and repetition is one way to improve a skill, to building a habit. But there are so many ways where you can transform your life with less effort, with more happiness, and a much bigger impact to you, and everyone around you!


There are three things I cover hear:


  • The eight major ways to drive change in your life
  • The four foundational habits you need to have in order to drive these changes
  • The two support systems you need to put into place to help drive these changes


Eight ways to drive change in your life

Know your why. Knowing your why is not this magical thing that we only get by meditating for 7 days and then journaling for another 13. Knowing your why comes down to two things:

  1. Recognize work you...
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My coaching clients use the very same template every single week to focus in on things that really matter.